If you and your spouse have decided to part ways, it's time to start planning for the divorce. You might have heard horror stories from friends and family members. However, divorce doesn't have to become a battle between two warring factions. In fact, with some effort, you can have an amicable divorce. Here are some tips that can help you avoid hostilities during your divorce.

1.  Start With a Good Therapist

If you're going through a divorce, and you want to make the process as amicable as possible, you need to start with a good therapist. That doesn't mean you need to sign up for couples divorce counseling. However, it does mean that you need to find a good therapist for your own personal needs.

When you have access to a therapist, you're able to work through issues as they arise. A good therapist can provide you with the sounding board you need when you've got no one else to turn to.

2.  Avoid Unrealistic Expectations

You may have heard celebrities discuss their own "conscious uncoupling" plans and hope that you can achieve the same results with your own divorce. However, it's important that you avoid unrealistic expectations.

The fact is that divorces can be messy, and they often come with hurt feelings that will need to be dealt with. The best way to avoid hostility and come closer to an amicable divorce is to realize that problems will arise. Have a plan in place for when they happen.

3.  Don't Negotiate Without an Attorney

If you and your spouse are going through a divorce, don't negotiate without a divorce attorney -– even if you're trying to keep things amicable. The fact is that trying to negotiate a divorce settlement without legal representation is one of the quickest ways to have the process turn upside down.

An attorney will ensure that the necessary steps are taken to provide for a fair and amicable division of assets and debts. Not only that but, if you have minor children, a good attorney is crucial to the custody negotiations.

4.  Ensure That the Children Are Off-Limits

If you want to maintain civility throughout your divorce proceedings, you need to ensure that the children are off-limits. Oftentimes, divorcing couples bring their children into the battle, demanding that sides be taken.

However, once you bring the children into your divorce, hostilities can arise and feelings can be hurt, and child/parental relationships can be damaged. To help ensure an amicable divorce, avoid getting your children involved.